Love your example, and I agree with you. In my offline life, I avoid people who take themselves too seriously.

However, online, I believe the requests to dial it down came from a place of love. There's something about putting it in writing that makes it sound serious/harsh.

I've been on the other side of it too. A writer who I greatly admire said they're not a good writer, multiple times. It hurt me to know that they feel this way about themselves. I wanted to change that. I just commented how I felt about their writing—that it's incredible, great beyond words.

I can be too critical of myself which is harmful, so the key is to find the right balance.

Co-writing is an underrated experience, in my opinion, it really helps us grow as writers.